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Teens and technology - school rules and practical advice
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Interview with Peter Braverman, Head of Middle School, Green Acres School
Most schools have a policy today that prohibits the use of cell phones during the school day. Some schools will allow kids to use them in the school office to call a parent, or after school outside the building. Texting during the day is never allowed. Peter Braverman says the policy is in place “because we want kids to talk, play or interact while they’re at school.”
Braverman spoke at a recent school orientation where his practical advice inspired me to share this with my readers. First, Braverman advises parents to remove cell phones from your teen’s bedrooms at night. This is logical, but perhaps you haven’t thought to do this yet. I’ve heard from parents their kids sometimes stay up very late receiving and texting friends. Next, he recommends that parents monitor the text messages on their child’s phone.
In addition, "Sometimes there are inappropriate interactions between kids,” Braverman says. He’s referring to abusive texting, sexting and some of the other controversial messages being transmitted by teens today. I asked Braverman what to do if you should discover your teen has been involved, received or sent an inappropriate text. He says, “Go to the source closest to the issue first. Tell the other child’s parent that you’re concerned about something and try to strategize together about the problem.”
So the school is not the first place to go when you discover these disturbing messages? Braverman explains that the school involvement is limited, “I’m dubious about schools’ ability to help that much in these cases.” How do you answer a teen who complains that you are “invading his privacy,” or claims “it’s none of your business”? Braverman says to calmly answer: “I know we’re a little more concerned than you want us to be, but we do it because we worry. All parents are that way.”
Braverman is a parent of two, one in middle school. He suggests that when you’re angry or upset about something, it’s best to sleep on it before reacting. “Think about it before you say or do something,” suggests Braverman. “A lot of emergencies turn out not to be so urgent if we give them a little rest before reacting. And that allows us to be thoughtful about each other.”
As a parenting scholar and former teacher, Braverman has garnered some of his wisdom from books like Dr. Wendy Mogel’s Blessing of a Skinned Knee and Harvard’s Richard Weissboard’s The Parents We Mean To Be. You can learn more about the principles of progressive education, at Green Acres School web site. Green Acres School is celebrating the school’s 75th anniversary this year.
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